LYRICS:
[Zoë]:
I hate crocodiles, mummies, bad witches, spells, criminals, murderers, liars, um, celery, disease, vampires, riddles, evil robots, sharks, snakes, hyenas, beasts, sorcerers, aliens, dragons, nazis, ghosts and the K.K.K..

Oh, I can feel my bones start to quiver
Alone in my room I shiver
I know my nightlight isn't too bright
I think I just tinkled in my tights

[Co.Z]:
Ahh-oooo!

[Jack]:
Werewolf, check, a full moon
I do warn you to keep away or meet your doom
Or–BOO! Twilight and Potter left shook
I'm not the type you might find in childish books

I'm a lycan: come out in the night, cause fright
'Cause I might take a bite when I close my jaws tight
Aight? So are you two afraid of the dark?
'Cause my bite might scare you quite more than my bark

Ahh-oooo!

I'm afraid of, uh, vegetables, tetanus shots, truant officers, Bono from U2's sunglasses and all of Oprah.

[Zoë]:
Oh, I can feel my bones start to quiver
Alone in my room I shiver
I know my nightlight isn't too bright
I think I just tinkled in my tights

[Co.Z]:
Girls!
Boys!
The deep end!
Bed bugs.
West nile!
Medicine!
And O.J. Simpson
–and his gloves!

I'm the boy so I gotta stay strong–
What is that?!
Oh my God!
Don't say that!
I meant gosh…
Holy crap, hold my hand!
Gross, no–wait, why are we in the woods? I told you this was a bad idea...
–No you said it was good! I knew shouldn't've listened to you, all boys are so dumb.
I wish I was in my bet right now wetting it and sucking my thumb...
…instead of meeting all these scary monsters
–Jack let's go! I peed my tights!
I would but I am frightened and I froze.

[Jack]:
(Oh no!)

[Zoe]:
(HAHAHA) Oh I'ma come and get you
Suck your blood and let you (suck your blood)
Scream and cry, you little brat
I sing like this 'cause I'm a fat vampire (I'm a vampire)

[Co.Z]
Admire my teeth

I think we should talk about what we like:
We like four square…
…action heroes…
uh, Eloise!
André 3000
…lanyards…
Sugar gliders,
Unicorns!
–and narwals...

[Zoë]:
Oh, I can feel my bones start to quiver
Alone in my room I shiver
I know my nightlight isn't too bright
I think I just tinkled in my tights

[Jack]:
Hey, I'm the boogeymonster, I was born to haunt ya
And I think they made your bones just for me to crunch ya
Eat you like lunch-a-ble, kid munch ya
Swing around your back and hit your face like a nunchuck

So you better run, but I bet I'll be behind ya
Ready set go, try to hide, and I'll find ya
And then, of course, I hope to eat your heart
After sundown, run now, and be scarred of the dark

[Zoë]:
I'll peel off your toenails
I sweat slime like I'm a snail

[Co.Z]
Boogey, me, vampire:
Eat entire little chillinz
'Cause we're villains
Oh, yeah we're villains

"Please sire, can I have some more?"
"You want MOREEE??"

[Zoë]:
Reintroducing...

[Jack]:
Jack The Ripper, I actually exist
Make a family, and then I'll make a bastard of your kids
And a window of your wife; just a pencil, no knife
'Cause I found that it was mightier, I kill it when I write

But tonite, I'ma put this lead deep into your head
Keep your kids away, ok, and if you meet me then you're dead
I might be in your closet, or underneath your bed
Or maybe standing over, slowly cutting off you head

I rip it, to me, beat killing's like breathing
So when it gets dark, be afraid, start leaving
You to the Ripper is a goon to a goblin
Nothing, nothing, you ain't scaring nothing

[Co.Z]:
I just wanna go home!
Mommie.